{"id":139257,"date":"2026-08-31T06:25:00","date_gmt":"2026-08-31T10:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.strongfitnessmag.com\/?p=139257"},"modified":"2026-08-21T13:26:30","modified_gmt":"2026-08-21T17:26:30","slug":"niyc-pidgeon-joy-gap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.strongfitnessmag.com\/health\/mental-health\/niyc-pidgeon-joy-gap\/","title":{"rendered":"What’s the Joy Gap, and How Can You Avoid It?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Positive

I distinctly remember waking up the morning after my first book launch party with an empty feeling\u2014that, despite having written a best-selling book and celebrating with 120 of my closest friends, family, and clients, I\u2019d done nothing good. The feeling shook me. <\/p>\n

So why, after investing so much time and energy into building toward a goal, do we not feel fulfilled when we get there? And if reaching it was supposed to feel like enough, why doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve ever stood at the finish line of a goal you worked on for months or years and felt\u2014inexplicably\u2014a little empty, you\u2019re not broken or doing it wrong. You\u2019re not ungrateful. And you\u2019re absolutely not alone. What you\u2019re experiencing has a name, a neuroscientific explanation, and most importantly, a solution. Positive psychologists has been studying this gap for decades, and what they\u2019ve found might change the way you think about every goal you set from here on out.<\/p>\n

Why Arriving Never Feels Like Enough<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The phenomenon you experienced at the finish line is called hedonic adaptation, <\/strong>and it\u2019s well-documented within happiness research. Your brain is wired, exquisitely and ruthlessly, to return to a baseline level of well-being regardless of what happens to you: good things, bad things, big achievements, devastating losses. Given enough time, your nervous system normalizes it all and goes looking for the next thing to react to.<\/p>\n

This means the body you worked so hard for quickly becomes your new normal. The goal that once lit you up becomes the floor you stand on\u2014and your eyes are already scanning for the next ceiling.<\/p>\n

Research by psychologists Brickman and Campbell, who first described the \u201chedonic treadmill\u201d in 1971, showed that even people who experienced major positive life events\u2014lottery wins, significant achievements, major milestones\u2014returned to their baseline happiness level within a surprisingly short period. The treadmill keeps moving. And if your entire sense of fulfilment is tied to the outcome, you\u2019ll keep running and keep arriving and keep feeling like something is missing.<\/p>\n

\u201c<\/em><\/strong>Joy, gratitude, and hope aren\u2019t rewards for achieving; they\u2019re the fuel that makes achieving sustainable.<\/strong>\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The Real Difference Between Pleasure and Flourishing<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Here is the distinction: pleasure is the dopamine hit you get from hitting the goal\u2014it\u2019s immediate, real, and temporary. Flourishing is something deeper and more durable. It\u2019s the ongoing experience of a life that feels meaningful, connected, and genuinely good to live.<\/p>\n

In positive psychology, we use the PERMAH model, originally developed by Martin Seligman, the founder of the field, to describe the six pillars of flourishing: positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, accomplishment, and health. Notice that accomplishment is only one of six, while the fitness industry has spent decades selling us on accomplishment as the whole picture. But if you\u2019re only feeding one pillar, the other five might be silently starving\u2014that\u2019s the joy gap.<\/p>\n

The women I\u2019ve worked with who feel most alive in their training and their lives are the ones who have learned to build positive emotion into the process itself\u2014not as a reward for arriving but as a practice woven into how they show up every single day.<\/p>\n

Positive Emotions Are Performance Tools<\/strong><\/h3>\n

This is where the science gets genuinely exciting. Barbara Fredrickson\u2019s landmark broaden-and-build theory demonstrates that positive emotions do far more than simply feel good. When you experience joy, gratitude, curiosity, hope, or love, your brain literally expands its field of attention. You solve problems more effectively, think more creatively, connect with others more easily, and recover more quickly from stress and physical effort. Fredrickson calls this the upward spiral: positive emotions boost resilience, which leads to more positive emotions, which allows for greater capacity.<\/p>\n

The opposite is also true: if you\u2019re grinding toward a goal from a place of self-criticism, shame, or obligation, you\u2019re narrowing your own capacity with every session. Joy, gratitude, and hope aren\u2019t rewards for achieving; they\u2019re the fuel that makes achieving sustainable. And they\u2019re available to you right now\u2014not when you reach the next milestone, but in this rep, this session, this moment.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Closing the Gap<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The joy gap closes by building a richer relationship with the present moment of your training. It closes when you stop treating positive emotion as something that arrives after hard work and start treating it as something you actively cultivate throughout it.<\/p>\n

What that means, practically and scientifically, is deliberately looking for what\u2019s working and connecting your training to something that genuinely matters to you. Not forcing enthusiasm you don\u2019t have but building moments of joy, gratitude, and meaning into the fabric of how you train and how you live.<\/p>\n

The body goal was never going to be enough on its own. Not because you\u2019re wired wrong,
but because you\u2019re wired for more: more connection, more meaning, and more aliveness.
The science of positive psychology doesn\u2019t ask you to want less; it shows you how to feel more.<\/p>\n

Close the joy gap, not by running harder toward the next finish line but by learning to feel more of the joy within the life you\u2019re already living. <\/p>\n

Five Ways to Build Positive Emotion Into Your Training<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n
You don\u2019t have to wait until you reach your goal to feel good. Here\u2019s how to start closing the joy gap today.<\/h5>\n
 1 <\/span> Gratitude for function, not form <\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\n

Before your next session, name three things your body can do\u2014not how it looks, but what it\u2019s capable of. Research shows that gratitude for physical function increases training enjoyment, reduces body dissatisfaction, and improves consistency over time.<\/p>\n

 2 <\/span> Find your flow <\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\n

Noted psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi\u2019s research on flow\u2014the state of total absorption in a challenging activity\u2014shows it\u2019s one of the most reliable sources of deep positive emotion available to us. Design your training to sit at the edge of your current ability: challenging enough to fully engage you, achievable enough to keep you in it.<\/p>\n

 3 <\/span> Savor the small wins <\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\n

The brain\u2019s negativity bias means it registers setbacks faster and holds them longer than victories. Counter this deliberately. After every session, identify one specific thing that went well\u2014not just \u201cI showed up\u201d but \u201cI pushed through the third set when I wanted to stop.\u201d Savoring small wins builds the upward spiral Fredrickson describes.<\/p>\n

 4 <\/span> Connect your training to meaning <\/span><\/span><\/h5>\n

Ask yourself: what does being physically strong allow me to be? A more present parent, a more energized leader, a more resilient woman? Meaning is the bridge between effort and fulfillment. When your training is connected to something bigger than aesthetics, it stops feeling like a cost and starts feeling like an investment.<\/p>\n

 5 <\/span> Celebrate the process, not just the outcome <\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\n

Set what psychologists call \u201cmastery goals\u201d alongside your outcome goals\u2014goals focused on learning, improving, and growing rather than arriving. This sounds like \u201cI want to feel stronger in my squat\u201d rather than \u201cI want to hit a number.\u201d Mastery goals are more resistant to hedonic adaptation because the process of improving never fully plateaus.<\/p>\n

 Now ask yourself: <\/strong><\/span><\/h5>\n

Where am I currently treating positive emotion as a reward rather than a practice?<\/p>\n

What is one thing my body can do right now that I haven\u2019t stopped to feel grateful for?<\/p>\n

What would it feel like to train from joy rather than obligation\u2014and what\u2019s one small way I could start that today?<\/p>\n

The goal was never the destination. It was always who you were enjoying becoming on the way there. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Written by <\/strong>Niyc Pidgeon<\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Photography by Paul Buceta<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hair & Makeup by Lori Fabrizio<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"

You worked hard, hit the goal, and then\u2014nothing. Here\u2019s why getting fit was never going to be enough, and how the joy gap plays into it all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11362,"featured_media":139259,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"

\"Positive<\/span><\/div>

I distinctly remember waking up the morning after my first book launch party with an empty feeling\u2014that, despite having written a best-selling book and celebrating with 120 of my closest friends, family, and clients, I\u2019d done nothing good. The feeling shook me. <\/p>

So why, after investing so much time and energy into building toward a goal, do we not feel fulfilled when we get there? And if reaching it was supposed to feel like enough, why doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>

If you\u2019ve ever stood at the finish line of a goal you worked on for months or years and felt\u2014inexplicably\u2014a little empty, you\u2019re not broken or doing it wrong. You\u2019re not ungrateful. And you\u2019re absolutely not alone. What you\u2019re experiencing has a name, a neuroscientific explanation, and most importantly, a solution. Positive psychologists has been studying this gap for decades, and what they\u2019ve found might change the way you think about every goal you set from here on out.<\/p><\/div>

\n\t
\n<\/div>

Why Arriving Never Feels Like Enough<\/strong><\/h3>

The phenomenon you experienced at the finish line is called hedonic adaptation, <\/strong>and it\u2019s well-documented within happiness research. Your brain is wired, exquisitely and ruthlessly, to return to a baseline level of well-being regardless of what happens to you: good things, bad things, big achievements, devastating losses. Given enough time, your nervous system normalizes it all and goes looking for the next thing to react to.<\/p>

This means the body you worked so hard for quickly becomes your new normal. The goal that once lit you up becomes the floor you stand on\u2014and your eyes are already scanning for the next ceiling.<\/p>

Research by psychologists Brickman and Campbell, who first described the \u201chedonic treadmill\u201d in 1971, showed that even people who experienced major positive life events\u2014lottery wins, significant achievements, major milestones\u2014returned to their baseline happiness level within a surprisingly short period. The treadmill keeps moving. And if your entire sense of fulfilment is tied to the outcome, you\u2019ll keep running and keep arriving and keep feeling like something is missing.<\/p><\/div>

\n\t
<\/div>\n\t
\n\t
\n<\/div>

\u201c<\/em><\/strong>Joy, gratitude, and hope aren\u2019t rewards for achieving; they\u2019re the fuel that makes achieving sustainable.<\/strong>\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/div>

\n\t
\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>

The Real Difference Between Pleasure and Flourishing<\/strong><\/h3>

Here is the distinction: pleasure is the dopamine hit you get from hitting the goal\u2014it\u2019s immediate, real, and temporary. Flourishing is something deeper and more durable. It\u2019s the ongoing experience of a life that feels meaningful, connected, and genuinely good to live.<\/p>

In positive psychology, we use the PERMAH model, originally developed by Martin Seligman, the founder of the field, to describe the six pillars of flourishing: positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, accomplishment, and health. Notice that accomplishment is only one of six, while the fitness industry has spent decades selling us on accomplishment as the whole picture. But if you\u2019re only feeding one pillar, the other five might be silently starving\u2014that\u2019s the joy gap.<\/p>

The women I\u2019ve worked with who feel most alive in their training and their lives are the ones who have learned to build positive emotion into the process itself\u2014not as a reward for arriving but as a practice woven into how they show up every single day.<\/p><\/div>

\n\t
\n<\/div>

Positive Emotions Are Performance Tools<\/strong><\/h3>

This is where the science gets genuinely exciting. Barbara Fredrickson\u2019s landmark broaden-and-build theory demonstrates that positive emotions do far more than simply feel good. When you experience joy, gratitude, curiosity, hope, or love, your brain literally expands its field of attention. You solve problems more effectively, think more creatively, connect with others more easily, and recover more quickly from stress and physical effort. Fredrickson calls this the upward spiral: positive emotions boost resilience, which leads to more positive emotions, which allows for greater capacity.<\/p>

The opposite is also true: if you\u2019re grinding toward a goal from a place of self-criticism, shame, or obligation, you\u2019re narrowing your own capacity with every session. Joy, gratitude, and hope aren\u2019t rewards for achieving; they\u2019re the fuel that makes achieving sustainable. And they\u2019re available to you right now\u2014not when you reach the next milestone, but in this rep, this session, this moment.<\/p><\/div>

\"\"<\/span><\/div>

Closing the Gap<\/strong><\/h3>

The joy gap closes by building a richer relationship with the present moment of your training. It closes when you stop treating positive emotion as something that arrives after hard work and start treating it as something you actively cultivate throughout it.<\/p>

What that means, practically and scientifically, is deliberately looking for what\u2019s working and connecting your training to something that genuinely matters to you. Not forcing enthusiasm you don\u2019t have but building moments of joy, gratitude, and meaning into the fabric of how you train and how you live.<\/p>

The body goal was never going to be enough on its own. Not because you\u2019re wired wrong,
but because you\u2019re wired for more: more connection, more meaning, and more aliveness.
The science of positive psychology doesn\u2019t ask you to want less; it shows you how to feel more.<\/p>

Close the joy gap, not by running harder toward the next finish line but by learning to feel more of the joy within the life you\u2019re already living. <\/p><\/div>

\n\t
<\/div>\n\t

Five Ways to Build Positive Emotion Into Your Training<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>
You don\u2019t have to wait until you reach your goal to feel good. Here\u2019s how to start closing the joy gap today.<\/h5><\/div>
\n\t
\n<\/div>
 1 <\/span> Gratitude for function, not form <\/span><\/strong><\/h5>

Before your next session, name three things your body can do\u2014not how it looks, but what it\u2019s capable of. Research shows that gratitude for physical function increases training enjoyment, reduces body dissatisfaction, and improves consistency over time.<\/p><\/div>

\n\t
\n<\/div>
 2 <\/span> Find your flow <\/span><\/strong><\/h5>

Noted psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi\u2019s research on flow\u2014the state of total absorption in a challenging activity\u2014shows it\u2019s one of the most reliable sources of deep positive emotion available to us. Design your training to sit at the edge of your current ability: challenging enough to fully engage you, achievable enough to keep you in it.<\/p><\/div>

\n\t
\n<\/div>
 3 <\/span> Savor the small wins <\/span><\/strong><\/h5>

The brain\u2019s negativity bias means it registers setbacks faster and holds them longer than victories. Counter this deliberately. After every session, identify one specific thing that went well\u2014not just \u201cI showed up\u201d but \u201cI pushed through the third set when I wanted to stop.\u201d Savoring small wins builds the upward spiral Fredrickson describes.<\/p><\/div>

\n\t
\n<\/div>
 4 <\/span> Connect your training to meaning <\/span><\/span><\/h5>

Ask yourself: what does being physically strong allow me to be? A more present parent, a more energized leader, a more resilient woman? Meaning is the bridge between effort and fulfillment. When your training is connected to something bigger than aesthetics, it stops feeling like a cost and starts feeling like an investment.<\/p><\/div>

\n\t
\n<\/div>
 5 <\/span> Celebrate the process, not just the outcome <\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/h5>

Set what psychologists call \u201cmastery goals\u201d alongside your outcome goals\u2014goals focused on learning, improving, and growing rather than arriving. This sounds like \u201cI want to feel stronger in my squat\u201d rather than \u201cI want to hit a number.\u201d Mastery goals are more resistant to hedonic adaptation because the process of improving never fully plateaus.<\/p><\/div>

\n\t
\n<\/div>
 Now ask yourself: <\/strong><\/span><\/h5>

Where am I currently treating positive emotion as a reward rather than a practice?<\/p>

What is one thing my body can do right now that I haven\u2019t stopped to feel grateful for?<\/p>

What would it feel like to train from joy rather than obligation\u2014and what\u2019s one small way I could start that today?<\/p>

The goal was never the destination. It was always who you were enjoying becoming on the way there. <\/strong><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>

\n\t
\n<\/div>
\t

Written by <\/strong>Niyc Pidgeon<\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>

Photography by Paul Buceta<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>

Hair & Makeup by Lori Fabrizio<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p><\/div>

\n\t
<\/div>\n\t
\"\"<\/a><\/span><\/div>